Watson June 10, 2019-Feb 1 2026
I write often about trauma—but what I haven’t written about until now is loss.
And loss, in itself, is trauma.
This past week, I lost my dog, Watson. It was completely unexpected. He was only six years old; he would have turned seven this June.
At first, I was in shock. How could a seemingly healthy dog just pass away in his sleep?
Like many people do, I went searching for answers. I replayed everything—every moment, every sign I might have missed. I started blaming myself. What if I’d caught something sooner? What if I’d done something differently?
Eventually, a wise veterinarian sat me down and told me something I needed to hear: there was nothing I could have done. What happened had no warning signs. He called it a cardiac arrhythmia event—meaning the oxygen left Watson’s brain before he ever knew what was happening. His eyes remained closed.
That knowledge doesn’t make the pain go away—but it does help with the healing.
Grief Has No Timeline
Grief is grief, just as trauma is trauma. And grief is not linear.
It comes in waves—unpredictable ones. There is no timetable, no “right” duration. Some people grieve for a short time; others carry it for years. Even decades later, I still cry sometimes for people I lost in the 1990s and early 2000s.
And that’s okay.
Grief is healthy. It’s part of the process. You may not experience every stage, and you certainly won’t experience them in order. What matters most is not forcing yourself through it alone.
Having someone to talk to helps. I’m fortunate to have close friends I could lean on. But if you ever find yourself without that support, there are outlets—therapists, hotlines, and support groups where there is no judgment. I’ve included resources for both family loss and pet loss below.
What Grief Can Look Like
I want you to know this: you are not alone.
Losing someone you love is never easy, and you never fully “recover.” Instead, you learn how to adapt. You learn how to carry the love forward.
What helps me is celebrating their life—photos, memories, talking about the good times. And sometimes, something else shows up that people don’t talk about enough: relief.
In certain situations, it is okay to feel relief. That does not mean you didn’t love them. Love is accepting everything about someone—including the parts that were exhausting or emotionally draining. Feeling relief is often your body’s way of resting.
Most importantly: it is okay to cry.
Especially in the beginning, it will come at the most inconvenient times. Mine came during a meeting this week. I had to excuse myself and completely broke down. One big, necessary cry.
If you’re able, take the first couple of days off. If the loss is a pet, some companies are compassionate and allow time for that grief. In my career, I’ve only had one employer who did—but that time mattered more than I can explain.
To Anyone Who Is Grieving
If you are carrying loss right now—of a person, a pet, or a version of life that mattered—your grief is valid.
Love leaves an imprint, and grief is the echo of that love.
May you give yourself permission to feel it all—and the time to heal in your own way.
Sending hugs your way
~Sophia 🖤
*****
Grief Support
GriefShare — www.griefshare.org
A network of support groups designed to help people heal from the death of a loved one.
Betterhelp — https://www.betterhelp.com
Growtherapy – https://growtherapy.com/
Pet Loss Support
Cornell Pet Loss Support Hotline (U.S.)
📞 607-218-7457
🕒 Mon–Fri 6–9 pm ET | Sat–Sun 12–9 pm ET
Tufts Pet Loss Support Helpline (U.S.)
📞 508-839-7966
🕒 Mon–Thu 6–9 pm ET (24-hour voicemail)
University of Illinois C.A.R.E. Pet Loss Hotline
📞 877-394-CARE (2273) | 217-244-CARE
🕒 Sun/Tue/Thu 7–9 pm CT
Virginia–Maryland Regional College of Veterinary Medicine
📞 540-231-8038
🕒 Tue/Thu 6–9 pm ET
Lap of Love (U.S./Canada)
📞 855-352-LOVE (5683)
Free virtual support groups and individual counseling
ASPCA Pet Loss Helpline
📞 877-474-3310
(Availability may vary)
Text & Chat-Based Pet Loss Support
Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement (APLB) – https://www.aplb.org/
Free moderated online chats with trained grief specialists.
Sun 2–4 pm ET
Mon/Tue/Wed/Fri 8–10 pm ET
Thu 8–10 pm ET (Anticipatory Grief)
1st Saturday of each month 8–10 pm ET
PetLoss Partners Chat Room – https://petlosspartners.org/
Tue & Thu 8:00 pm ET (90 minutes)
If You Feel Unsafe
U.S.: Call/Text/Chat 988 — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Canada: Call/Text 9-8-8 — Suicide Crisis Helpline
Immediate danger: Call 911 (U.S./Canada)